Saturday, December 11, 2010

He knows...

Life has seemed to pick up in pace alot more the past couple months. Days seem longer, fuller, and more exhausting. My days have consisted of working full time, meetings practically every day, and working on the different projects.

 Last week, I was exhausted, just physically, mentally and emotionally drained. I felt like my body was taking a toll, and couldn't handle the exhaustion with no rest, and I've constantly felt my body worn down and constantly getting sick with colds, coughs, and headaches. I've taken three sick days from work this past month, from the sneezing, blowing, and coughing that I prefer to do in my own home than in front of kids while teaching. I think my body may have just been telling me to slow down.


I couldn't though. 

I had a weekend full of birthday activities for two of our dear friends, church related activities, people to see and meet with, lessons to plan for, and work. Sometimes finding the time to rest is nearly impossible. 
Ministry with people was emotionally getting to me, as so much burden lays on my heart as people I care for and love are hurting. I came home each night just ready to burst into tears, but then having to hold back because things needed to get done, and I had to be strong with the kids that were in my home and needed encouragement and attention. Cooking, cleaning, and tending to kids have become a part of my late nights. 

I was truly having to find strength and energy from God, because there was no way I would have kept going on my own. I had to ask Him for energy and strength through each moment of my day, as I went from one class to another, as kids came to me for hugs and to wipe their tears, and after school coming home to more kids and needs. please don't take this the wrong way; I love ministry and I love the many doors God is opening.

but I was just so tired. exhausted. worn down.

Sunday afternoon I came home and crashed in my bed. I fell asleep for two hours and woke up feeling miserable. My husband decided to cancel our plans for the evening so i could rest. But it wasn't just that. I hit my breaking point. 

Earlier in the week, I had gotten together to pray with some of the teachers at the middle school. We meet every Thursday morning before school, to pray for the school staff, our churches, so many different things. But at the time, we had a pretty different prayer meeting. 
The ladies I was praying with just completely encouraged me. 
Lifted me up in prayer.
Affirmed me in the work God has me in. 
I left there with my heart just with so much peace. 
It's like God placed on their lips the things that I needed to hear and remind myself. 

I was reminded again after an email from a friend last week. She forwarded a clip of something she had read on a Henry Blackaby website about rest:

"Missed opportunities: You are the only one who can take care of your physical and spiritual health.

You will discover that when you do not care for yourself physically, your emotions become fragile.
You cannot respond properly to crises when you are exhausted. If you have not recharged your
emotional batteries, you’ll struggle to effectively handle troubles when they inevitably come. Take a
regular Sabbath. Restore your soul. Get away with your spouse. Enjoy friends. Exercise. Take a real
day off. Don’t allow unhealthy people to rob you of your health!"


it was a good reminder...I am trying to learn how to do just that. I hadn't been taking care of myself in the sense of rest and sleep at night, and it was taking a toll on my body.
I just needed sometime to rest.

but guess what?:)
Today we had a blizzard.
It's been a very enjoyable day of resting with my husband. It was like the snow and wind was permission to get into PJs and lounge on the couch. I got to do alot of things around here that I'd wanted to do, and took my time doing it:). I got to pay attention to my husband, and just him!:) 

It's a blessing to get days like this. It's the perfect excuse to stop from everyday busy life and simply
 rest

because well, sometimes we just need it:). 

1 comment:

Anne said...

I told Jay today... I almost feel bad that God ordained weather to shut down the whole state just because He knew we needed rest. ;) lol Thank you, Lord!

We need to hold each other accountable... to take care of ourselves and be more aware of burn out. These last weeks have been a lot.

Praying for you!!

love,
anne