Life as a photo album.

There are so many different instances in the day that I just can't get enough pictures of life.

Lux smiling this way. 

Lux looking that way.

Alexio getting stuck underneath Lux's passionate embrace.

Lux giggling.

Lux crawling.

Lux and daddy playing.

Lux exploring.

Selfie of me and Lux.

Selfie of me and Alexio.

Alexio playing.

Lux playing with Alexio.

Alexio running away from Lux.

you get the picture.

But sometimes, there are those moments that I desperately want to capture and freeze forever through the lens of my camera, but I stop myself, and remind myself, 

"Just enjoy."

"Just cherish the moment."

"Soak it in."

"If you go and look for your phone or your camera, this moment will be gone forever."

Like today.

I would have loved to capture the memory of laying on the floor with Lux on my belly...then lifting her in the air "flying" on my feet.

I land her back on my belly, and she's giggling uncontrollably.

She put her face closer and closer and closer to my face, until we're touching and looking straight into each other's eyes, grinning the entire time, and she's still giggling.

She affectionately gives me an open mouth kiss (the only kind she currently gives), 

and then promptly bites me on the nose, 

trapping the tip of my nose between her grown in bottom teeth, 

and the newly cut razor sharp two top teeth.

or those times that she lays her head on my chest, and my phone is miles away in the other room, and I can't take a picture.

I just want to eat up those moments, take lots of pictures, and then flip through them at night with Ryan when she's asleep.

I think it's good to remind myself to relish in the moment.

Don't disturb it, just to get a good pic to share.

Take a mental picture, lock it in your treasure chest, and cherish the memory, the feelings, the emotions of the moment.

 And then there are those other moments, that, well, you just can't pass up and you have to take a picture.

So enjoy those pictures, capture those sweet and hilarious moments...

but remember that sometimes,

 It's okay to just enjoy those times without a camera. 

Relish in it, soak it in, cherish it. 

Live in that very moment.

Two babies tonight.

[Thrilled to have a friend join her at her favorite spot, watching the rain, and looking at people passing by.]

I just put two babies to bed.

Yup, tonight we had two babies.

We're doing respite care for this little boy in foster care.

It's been almost two years since we've had a child stay in our home.

We took a break from fostering when we found out I was pregnant, and just haven't felt ready to foster yet, except for respite.

Having my own baby, that I carried, bore, and am raising, is hitting me even harder when I think of those in foster care.

Especially this lil guy.

He's gotta be one of the easiest kids I've ever had the privilege of caring for. And as you can see, Lux was thrilled with her new friend that she followed around and did everything just like he did. 

But when I got him ready for bed tonight, I could see his bottom lip start puckering. I got him in pajamas, brushed his teeth, got his stuffed monkey and his fuzzy blanket, and I lay him down. 

His eyes filled with tears, and his lip was quivering, but he was fighting it.

He was struggling to be brave as he lay down in yet, another unfamiliar bed, that wasn't his own.

I looked at his big brown eyes and my heart felt heavy as his watery eyes stared at me. 

His voice was raspy as he whispered, "Night."

I couldn't just leave him. I asked him if he wanted a hug, and he nodded, and I reached into the pack n play and pulled him into an embrace. He buried his face in my neck, breathing heavily. 

After a few minutes of hearing longer deeper breaths, I lay him down. He was almost asleep and I ran my hand over his head. 

I kissed his chubby cheek and turned out the light.

His mommy is missing this.

My heart is oh, so heavy, for him and the others in homes with people that start out as strangers to them.

Strangers putting them to bed.

Strangers that they have to trust will take care of them.

Such a burden for little one to have to take on.

Prayers for this lil boy.

and for so many of those in foster care...

leg warmers, baby muscles, and gabbing moms.

The gym could quickly become this kid's favorite place.

I think we may pursue that for her. 

We had a super fun playdate at the gymnastics center, where my friend, Stacy, works.

When she came up with the idea, both Lux and I were pumped, because, well, growing up, the gym was my second home.

Doesn't Lux look like an 80's jazzercise kid?;) 

(props to Bethany F. for terminology:-D)

And this is Annibelle. She's almost exactly one month older than Lux, so that makes them pretty compatible playmates! I think they're gonna run circles around each other as they get older!

 Lux was really interested in the balls that Annibelle brought along. They kept switching balls, and taking balls away from each other, and trying to keep them away from each other. it was so fun to watch.

Deep discussion about who should get the yellow ball.

 Annibelle's starting to take off! We did a lot of cheering and encouraging her to go, and after all her hard work, she took off the next day! (look at my child eating the ball.)

 Remember that pink ball that she kept chasing the big kids around at the class?

She got it.

 we built some steps, and they took turns climbing up. 

Hope you enjoyed this overload of little girlies, leg warmers, big grins, and cuteness.

It was really fun to see them crawl around together, and when they put their heads together, they looked like they were whispering and telling secrets. 

Gah, i love having a little girl!

this stay at home life

[contantly dragging her away from his food/water bowl. we refer to it, as "lux is swimming again."]

 I'm really really enjoying my life right now.

It's a blur, a constant whirlwind, a busy time.

Lux is active, so very active, and is constantly on the move.

She's curious, she doesn't stop moving, and she's pretty fearless.

No idea where she gets all that.

 My day starts out early, usually around 6:30 or 7. 

sometimes, later, but that's only if Lux feels like having a late night/early morning snack, and sleeps a little bit longer. 

(Like today, when we were supposed to be somewhere at 8:30, but she decided that since we were due somewhere, she'd sleep in til 8:45. It kinda seems to work this way pretty often.)

I get excited when I hear her rattling her monkey/blanket around, which is what she usually talks to the minute her eyes open up.

I go in there with a bottle, and she eats a couple ounces.

Then I change her, zip her back up into her pjs, and venture out into the living room where the Today show is on and she plays with her toys like they're brand new again.

until she notices that I'm doing my makeup. 

 Of course, that means Lux should be a part of makeup time! 

She talks to me the whole time, hoping that I'm not noticing that she's sliding the blanket off my leg in hopes of dragging the mascara, brushes, eyeshadows, mirrors, etc towards her.

i notice. and pull it back.

After she successfully drags the makeup one by one off the couch and onto the floor, she climbs up and sits with me as she finishes off her bottle and watches Matt Lauer on the Today Show try samples of the food being cooked live (for the East Coast).

I make a cup of coffee, while I watch Lux eat her breakfast and she watches me drink my coffee.

Then we sing songs about how chubby she is, or if daddys still home, then she watches him get ready to leave.

 After breakfast, Lux and alexio play around the house. Most of the time separately, but more recently, together.

Or Lux thinks they're playing together. 

Alexio's just running for his dear fur's life.

We take brushing our teeth very seriously in this house.

Especially with the toothbrush upside down.

while playing the djembe.

By this time, Lux is ready for a nap and starts rubbing her eyes.

So I get a bottle ready, ask her if she's tired, and pick her up while squeezing her chubby cheeks together.

We head for her room and rock together while she takes a bottle. 

When she's asleep, I head for the couch with another cup of coffee, a blanket, my bible, and devo book, and have my devotion for the day.

Alexio realizes that this is the part of day that he can snuggle all her wants with mommy, so he takes advantage of it, and we curl up together while I read and drink coffee.

When I finish my devos, I wash the dishes from breakfast, hopefully throw a load of laundry in (or take one out and fold it), and pick up the living room, and by this time Lux is reenergized and Alexio goes in to check on her and say hello.

 I feed her lunch in her walker, and she toddles around with her chicken leg or cheese or avocados or turkey dog while Alexio follows her around for anything that might fall off the tray. 

While she does this, I get together my lunch and then we eat together, while alexio sits and stares at both of us eat.

We do a lot of chasing, singing, dancing, playing, climbing, exploring and jumping in the time after lunch. 

Lux and Alexio can keep busy for a very long time at the window. I usually open the front door, and they both sit and watch anything and everything that happens outside our house. And usually if someone is outside that Alexio thinks should not be there, they both start barking profusely to alert the entire neighborhood.
that's right.
they BOTH bark profusely.
Lux is a great imitator and learns a lot from Alexio.

["mam! our neighbor is walking a cat!!!!"]

When Alexio goes out the back to potty, Lux thinks it's the great thing ever and keeps him company at the back door.
Banging and barking at him the whole time.

by this time its around 2:30 and Lux could use another bottle. She may or may not fall asleep and take a nap during this time, but usually if she does, we snuggle together on the couch for this nap. If she doesn't feel like sleeping, then she's off once again, reenergized from sitting and sucking on her bottle, and ready to tackle the rest of the day.

When daddy comes home, its a big party. Usually, both dog and baby are at the window anyways watching as the car pulls up to the house, and then its immediate chaos. Alexio starts freaking out and whining as he waits for daddy to come in and Lux gets a silly grin on her face as if she's thinking, "Alexio is so excited about...something! I am too!"

When she finds out its daddy, we celebrate, and everyone jumps on him and covers him with kisses. 

(Ryan loves the fact that everyone is overjoyed when he comes home. He feels super special;))

Then, we go back to exploring.

Usually it's in the kitchen where all the teen night stuff is at.
She really likes taking the napkins out, and candy, and cookies.
She's figured out how to get some Dum dums, and even stood on a cookie box to get a better view of the variety.
we used to think it was funny, and let her check it out, but now, she sticks the whole thing in her mouth, rips off the wrappers with her teeth, and spits them out. 
Then she happily enjoys multiple suckers.
So we keep a close eye on her and have moved the suckers to the top shelf.

Dinner time happens about 5:45 for lux, so that we have time to clean up, get a bath, and then Ryan and I have dinner with Lux sitting with us and playing with a spoon or nibbling off our plates. 

Our bedtime is one of the sweetest parts of the day. 

Daddy and Lux brush teeth and look at books together, until Lux is ready for her bottle.

Then she'll crawl over to me, climb into my lap, grab her monkey, and we'll rock and snuggle til she's asleep. I can't bear to just let her cry til she falls asleep. 

I don't want to give up even a night of snuggling and watching her fall asleep in my arms. 

Before I know it, she won't need me to fall asleep anymore, so I'm enjoying it while I can.

That's just a peek of my day...in the mix of all that, we add in playdates, dinners with friends, trips to the store, visiting daddy at work, walks, cooking, cleaning, and lots and lots of loving all around.

I love this life, this phase, this season.

I love these memories that we're creating.

I'm just so. so. thankful.